Nigerian actress Ruby Ojiakor’s recent engagement has ignited discussions on cultural traditions and proposal etiquette.
In a viral video, her partner, Moc Madu, was seen kneeling to propose while wearing the prestigious Igbo red cap.
While their engagement was met with congratulations and celebration, it also sparked debate over the appropriateness of the proposal method. In case you missed it, watch the video below;
In light of this, an X user, @gaiuschibueze, expressed concerns about whether it is appropriate for an Igbo man, especially one wearing a red cap, to kneel during a proposal.
He wrote; “Is it proper for an Igbo man with a red cap to kneel down to propose to a lady?, let us discuss respectifully.”
See screenshots below;
See reactions below;
@Treazyblaq: Actually, formal proposals are Western tradition. In Igbo culture, a man does not kneel to ask for a woman’s hand in marriage. The act of kneeling is simply to present a ring. Traditionally, Igbo men do not propose in that manner. To answer your question, if you are a traditional Igbo man, you don’t have to propose with a ring. You can skip that entirely and go straight to her family to begin marriage proceedings, provided she is Igbo as well. However, if you’re marrying a foreigner, you should propose in a way that aligns with her cultural expectations. Being an Ogbuefi or not does not change this.
@anyayoubadd: It’s not logical for Mazi to kneel but love is not for logical people.
@eatable_chidi: Not just Igbo man with a red cap, It’s not proper for ANY man to knee and propose to a lady. It’s an insult to himself.
@lifeinsolace: No. In Igbo culture, if a man wants to marry a woman, he goes to her father to seek her consent through her father.
@Adaigboukwu : it is never even in our tradition for a man to kneel down to a woman for proposal,,, infact when a man finds a woman that he love & want to marry,he will tell his parents first ones they approves it then they can escort him to the girl’s parents,,that is our tradition.
@royandecor: Our problem is over weternization, we have so copied everything that we don’t even know boundaries again. On the other hand,red cap itself has been so ridiculed,same with Isi Agù,every Tom, Dick n harry wears it.We should be much concerned that are tradition is fast eroding😔.
@callme_Stanle: really are we going to be talking about this kind of thing in 2025? I have a question who made these rules? What were their reasons? Were you there when the rules were made? Let’s say our ancestors or whom ever we claim to know made them,so we are going to keep living our lives on the dictates of some archaic rules that were made by some primitive people to suite their life style then. Why must our lives keep being directed by these people even in their graves. Why the unnecessary rules can’t we all break out , live our lives and be happy. These rules were made by human and can also be changed by human. Life is evolving we can’t keep being stuck up by people we don’t even know or met. Every culture and religion you think you know were nurtured and cultured into you. You don’t even know if any were true you just believed because who ever raised you said so. Let’s allow people be and do what makes them happy as long as no crime is committed and nobody is hurt.
@princeolisa: Red cap means n’ochi gi echichi which involves being dignified in all ramifications most especially in poise, dressing and character. Hence, kneeling in public is a no.